Mental Health and Children 👶

What age do we remember our childhood from? 3 years? 5 years? Or in some cases even later?

For me personally, my blurry first memories go back to play-school which should be around 3 years of age. Dancing on "If you're happy and you know clap your hands" and making a tree with "palm painting".

I became more confident about my memories from my 4th grade when I was 8 years old. Sitting under a tree and eating cheeselings during recess, watching "Tiny TV", going to my friends place to play with her new kitchen set after school etc. 

So what about those first 3 years of my life? If I do not even remember them, are they even important?

Ofcourse they are. In fact the ages of 0-7 is considered to be the most crucial ages for shaping up your entire life. The great Greek philosopher Aristotle once said, “Give me a child until he is 7 and I will show you the man.”

If a child is not given proper attention during their first seven years, they can be highly affected throughout their lives and face problems in later stages of their lives such as :

• behavioural issues
• low self-esteem
• lack a sense of belonging
• depression
• addictions etc to name a few

This is exactly why it is advised to spend maximum time with your child in these years to give them proper guidance and training cause this stays with them for life. These years can make or break them.

Usually, it is more likely for parents to face issues with their first child since they are new to the whole concept of parenthood. Taking up any new responsibility is challenging and we are bound to make mistakes in the beginning till we learn better. This is also true for the new roles as "Parents" which is why asking for help and guidance of professionals is highly recommended to give your child a healthy environment to grow in.  

I believe the education goes both ways. A newborn learns from his/her parents and also trains them in return which is why us second children are lucky and get well trained parents.

Recently, since the issues faced with new parents are being highlighted more and more, some schools are taking the initiative to come up with parental counselling which is a beautiful initiative to train new and young parents about how to contribute in the physical and mental growth and wellbeing of their children.

I once volunteered for a company called Toybank a few years ago. They work towards teaching underprivileged children using games in order to build their cognitive mind. They had a very beautiful quote. It said- "It is easier to build stronger Children than to repair broken men". Now we definitely know why. 

That was all about the importance of educating yourself and your family/friends before planning a family in order to prevent children from suffering at a later stage. 

Now, what if you are the person suffering from one of these symptoms? How do we work on that when you do not even remember that phase of your life?

Since Bollywood helps immensely in bringing topics of concern to awareness of the masses, I was very happy to see Dear Zindagi, a movie starring Alia Bhatt and Shah Rukh khan. This film is an amazing portrayal of the affect of a trauma faced in childhood in the adult life. Alia Bhatt, who faces abandonment issues in her adult life relationships traces back to the root cause of her problem which started when she was abandoned by her parents in her early stages of life. Well she had Shah Rukh khan to help her. What about you? 

I'll use some of the quotes from the movie to explain you what you can do in order to heal yourself.

The first step is to recognise the problem. Notice the pattern. It could probably be a certain fear or feeling of self doubt, insomnia or addiction to substance use. Sometimes it can be as basic as headaches. So bring to your awareness that you are facing a problem and decide to work on it.

The next step is to learn to express yourself. Go deeper into the problem. As Jay Shetty suggested in his book "Think Like A Monk" use the "Why Ladder". Keep questioning yourself. For example- Why are you scared of water? Why are you scared of expressing your feelings? Why do you feel angry all the time?Why can't you sleep? 

Once you start answering your questions you reach the root cause of your problems and then start releasing them. 

What people say or do stops bothering you. You live in a much peaceful manner and start attracting the same positivity that you reflect. 

How can PLRT assist in healing childhood traumas?

Past life does not just mean a life before this life, it can also be a part of this very life. Yesterday is also past for you today. Similarly, PLRT, or rather your subconscious mind has the ability to take you to a trauma that you faced in this lifetime. It could be last year, a decade ago, in your childhood or even in your mother's womb. It depends on where your problem actually lies. 

Yes, you read it right, sometimes it is possible that something you experienced when you were in your mothers womb affected you. Science has proven that there is something known as in-utero memory where a child starts registering things before its even born.

So what do the therapists do?  

There is something called as inner child healing that is used in such cases where the therapist guides its client to go to the time when he/she was a baby and talk about the experiences of those ages and how it affected the client. They make the client connect to their inner child and face the events that stayed with them and affect them negatively till date. 

I had a client who went back to the day she was born and her parents were holding her and she very vividly narrated the entire experience to me. It goes without saying that this memory was beyond her conscious memory.

Conclusion

In case of the movie- SRK, playing the role of a trained therapist, could heal the inner child in Alia and cure her issues such as insomnia, nightmares, relationship with parents, relationship with friends and partners and self confidence by making her aware that her problems lie in her childhood and once she re-lived them, she got the courage to face them. 

So, in conclusion, to actually fall in love with your Zindagi and live a fuller life, notice the things that affect you physically and emotionally and try to go back to its root cause. You can do this by PLRT, meditation or simply by journaling. Whatever works for you. I am always here to help.  Ending this blog with a beautiful quote from Dear Zindagi:

Happy healing! Do get in touch with me for more information on mmansukhani0@gmail.com